“Breaking News: Starfield Revolutionizes Gaming with Unprecedented 30 FPS – Prepare for Mind-Blowing Sluggishness!”

In a bold move that has raised a few eyebrows and sparked heated debates among gamers, Bethesda Studios has announced that their highly anticipated game, Starfield, will be locked at a cinematic 30 frames per second (FPS). The decision, according to Bethesda, was made in the pursuit of unparalleled immersion for players.

“We want to transport players to the vast depths of space, and 30 FPS is the key to achieving that,” declared Todd Howard, the charismatic CEO of Bethesda. “When you’re hurtling through galaxies at a smooth 60 FPS, it’s almost too real, like you’re actually controlling a spacecraft in space. And who wants that level of immersion, right?”

Howard emphasized that the breathtaking visuals of Starfield are best appreciated at a leisurely 30 FPS. “Our team has painstakingly crafted stunning star systems, awe-inspiring celestial bodies, and mind-boggling cosmic phenomena. It’s an artistic masterpiece that simply can’t be rushed. The slower frame rate allows players to soak in every pixel, every meticulously designed asteroid, and every extraterrestrial creature at a pace that befits the vastness of the universe we’ve created.”

Naturally, the announcement has sparked a mix of reactions from the gaming community. Some players have embraced the decision, praising Bethesda’s commitment to providing a unique and immersive experience. “I’ve always wanted to explore space in slow motion,” said one enthusiastic fan. “Finally, a game that allows me to take in the majesty of the cosmos without any of that fast-paced nonsense.”

However, not everyone is convinced. Critics argue that locking Starfield at 30 FPS feels like a throwback to a bygone era of gaming. “Are we in the year 2000? It’s like Bethesda wants us to experience space travel through the lens of a flipbook,” quipped one disgruntled gamer. “I guess I can finally realize my dream of playing a slideshow simulator.”

Unfazed by the backlash, Howard stood firm in his belief that 30 FPS is the sweet spot for delivering an authentic space odyssey. “Just think about all the movies set in space. They’re all in 24 FPS, and no one complains. We’re giving players an extra six frames per second to enhance their galactic journeys. It’s a generous gift from us to the gaming community.”

As Starfield’s release date draws near, players around the world eagerly await the opportunity to take their first steps into the unknown. Regardless of their stance on the controversial frame rate, one thing is certain: Bethesda’s decision to lock Starfield at 30 FPS will undoubtedly make the game an unforgettable experience, for better or worse. So buckle up, space travelers, and get ready to embrace the immersive wonders of the universe at a pace that’ll leave you begging for more frames.